1
00:00:02,968 --> 00:00:05,314
Pitcher of delicious, anyone?
2
00:00:05,315 --> 00:00:07,454
Beer, beer, beer.
3
00:00:07,455 --> 00:00:09,387
Is that my shirt?
Oh. Yeah, sorry.
4
00:00:09,388 --> 00:00:12,701
We were playing with Savannah
in the kiddy pool.
Mine got all wet.
5
00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:13,943
Did Elsa get all wet?
6
00:00:15,187 --> 00:00:17,085
That's crossing the line.
What?
7
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:18,603
That's his girlfriend
you're talking about, man.
8
00:00:18,604 --> 00:00:20,605
So, that's the line, now?
Water?
9
00:00:20,606 --> 00:00:23,470
I thought it was oil.
Like, all oiled up.
10
00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:24,575
What are you doing?
11
00:00:24,576 --> 00:00:25,921
Fine. Okay,
I'll say some stuff, then,
12
00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:27,750
and you tell me
where the line is.
13
00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:29,995
Elsa shopping for vegetables.
14
00:00:31,238 --> 00:00:33,309
Elsa eating chocolate cake.
15
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,379
Elsa horseback riding.
16
00:00:36,726 --> 00:00:38,830
What are you doing?
Maybe let's not do this.
17
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:41,005
Dude, it's his girlfriend,
all right?
Show some respect.
18
00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:42,248
The man's got
feelings for her.
19
00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:44,630
Feelings?
What, are you in love?
20
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,944
I gotta go.
21
00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,188
He totally loves her.
22
00:00:51,189 --> 00:00:53,259
Seriously, seriously,
I have to take off soon,
23
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,744
'cause Elsa and I are
watching this Project Runway
marathon tonight, so...
24
00:00:55,745 --> 00:00:58,678
Project Runway?
The show where
they make shirts?
25
00:00:58,679 --> 00:00:59,817
You watch that show?
26
00:00:59,818 --> 00:01:01,853
That's lame, dude.
I could make a shirt.
27
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,993
No way.
Do you have any
idea how hard that is?
28
00:01:03,994 --> 00:01:05,409
How hard can it be?
29
00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:06,893
You take a needle,
some cloth,
a little string...
30
00:01:06,894 --> 00:01:08,998
Do you mean thread?
Whatever. I can make a shirt.
31
00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:11,587
You can't make a shirt.
You can't even
make your own bed.
32
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:12,726
How much you wanna bet?
33
00:01:12,727 --> 00:01:14,521
$35,000.
34
00:01:14,522 --> 00:01:15,867
Free booze for a month.
35
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,800
Fine.
We'll do a competition.
36
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:20,320
Everybody takes 20 bucks,
buys some fabric.
You buy some string.
37
00:01:20,321 --> 00:01:21,770
Spend the next three days
making shirts,
38
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,254
and on Saturday,
we show them off.
39
00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:24,497
Okay, the dude
with the best shirt
40
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:25,912
drinks for free
for the month,
41
00:01:25,913 --> 00:01:27,016
on the losers' dime.
42
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:28,363
I like it. I'm in.
43
00:01:28,364 --> 00:01:30,192
In. Andy?
44
00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:32,125
That's okay. I've
discovered a little place
called the Gap.
45
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:35,991
Turns out they make shirts.
Besides, I got a lot
on my plate.
46
00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:38,890
Jo and I are
putting the final touches
on this big real estate deal.
47
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:41,030
I guess we're
gonna need models
for our shirts.
48
00:01:41,031 --> 00:01:42,135
I call Elsa!
49
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,723
All right, take it easy.
50
00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:45,449
What?
I didn't cross the line.
I didn't say something like,
51
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:48,452
"My shirt's going to
be made of lotion."
52
00:01:48,453 --> 00:01:50,110
The line!
Wow!
53
00:02:13,754 --> 00:02:17,274
I can't stop smiling.
I think I'm skipping.
But I don't care.
54
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:20,518
There's a new man in my life,
and I think it's
gonna change everything.
55
00:02:20,519 --> 00:02:23,211
Okay, what would be
the craziest thing
56
00:02:23,212 --> 00:02:24,591
I could tell you
guys right now?
57
00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:26,628
You can fly.
You're a dude.
58
00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,630
I don't wanna play
this game anymore.
59
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:31,253
You ready?
I am writing a book...
60
00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:33,152
Hey!
61
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,983
No, wait for it.
I am writing a book
with and about Spike Upton.
62
00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:38,364
Wait, what?
Spike Upton?
63
00:02:38,365 --> 00:02:40,262
As in the pitcher
Spike Upton
from the Mets?
64
00:02:40,263 --> 00:02:41,815
Yes, the one and only.
65
00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:43,300
Why haven't you
told us about this?
I didn't wanna jinx it.
66
00:02:43,301 --> 00:02:44,749
I wanted to wait
till I got the job.
67
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,372
How did you
even get that job?
68
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:48,443
Well, Jack Briscoe
set me up
with Spike's agent.
69
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:51,377
His agent read my samples.
We met, totally hit it off,
70
00:02:51,378 --> 00:02:54,000
and I'm writing a book
with Spike Upton!
71
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,795
That's unbelievable.
I'm so proud of you.
72
00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:58,556
This is huge.
This is big time, okay?
Can we meet him?
73
00:02:58,557 --> 00:03:01,214
Hey, Kenny, why don't
you just relax, okay?
He's just a guy.
74
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,699
He puts his pants
on one leg at a time,
just like everybody else.
75
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,012
His professional
baseball uniform pants?
76
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:07,393
Hey, P.J.
77
00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:09,603
Spike, hey. How's it going?
78
00:03:10,431 --> 00:03:11,535
These are my friends.
79
00:03:11,536 --> 00:03:13,433
This is my brother, Andy.
Hey, Spike.
80
00:03:13,434 --> 00:03:14,814
This is Brendan.
How's it going?
81
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:16,609
Mike Callahan. Big fan.
82
00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,093
Oh. Thanks.
83
00:03:18,094 --> 00:03:20,751
Huge. You're awesome.
Much better
looking in person.
84
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:22,062
Take it easy.
85
00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:24,858
I can't help it. I'm just...
I'm a huge Mets fan!
86
00:03:24,859 --> 00:03:25,997
He's from Chicago.
87
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,792
Mets! Number one!
88
00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:30,899
It's all right.
I'm from Chicago.
I grew up a Cubs fan.
89
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:34,351
Me, too!
We have so much in common.
I knew we would.
90
00:03:34,352 --> 00:03:37,319
Hi. I'm Kenny.
He's a little drunk.
91
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,080
I've seen worse.
You ever been to
Shea on a Tuesday?
92
00:03:41,635 --> 00:03:42,946
Tuesdays.
93
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,123
We're going off to dinner
to celebrate our book, huh?
94
00:03:48,124 --> 00:03:50,159
That's right.
I'm excited
to start writing,
95
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,127
although, I gotta say,
I don't even
know where to begin.
96
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:54,094
No, it's like I said.
Your story writes itself.
97
00:03:54,095 --> 00:03:57,097
Awesome in college,
awesome in New York.
98
00:03:57,098 --> 00:04:00,411
It should just be called
Totally Awesome,
by Spike Upton.
99
00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,792
Order now and
you'll also receive
100
00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:05,071
I Creeped Out Spike Upton,
by Mike Callahan.
101
00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:06,175
All right.
Let's go.
102
00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:07,730
Later, guys.
103
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:15,115
All right, let me see.
What did you guys get
at the fabric store?
104
00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:18,774
Okay, well,
I went with some
really vibrant colors.
105
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:23,262
Like,
perfect for late spring,
early summer, what have you.
106
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,884
I went with
stretchy fabric.
107
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,851
Andy,
come on, it's not too late
to get into the competition.
108
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,854
No time.
This Park Ridge deal's
been keeping me busy.
109
00:04:29,855 --> 00:04:32,857
I've been pulling
a lot of late nights
at the office with Jo.
110
00:04:32,858 --> 00:04:34,342
Bet Savannah misses you.
111
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,654
Are you kidding?
She's got Bobby and Elsa.
112
00:04:36,655 --> 00:04:39,726
They're like her own
private Ken and Barbie.
113
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,072
We went to
Target this morning.
114
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,281
Did you grab
those socks for me?
115
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,454
Top drawer,
bedroom dresser.
116
00:04:43,455 --> 00:04:45,318
Thanks, honey.
117
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:48,770
Speaking of work,
what's up with
our newest and bestest buddy?
118
00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,392
I don't know. It's weird.
119
00:04:50,393 --> 00:04:53,947
Spike's not, like,
as focused as
you might think.
120
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,742
He's kind of ADD.
121
00:04:55,743 --> 00:04:58,366
And he's really into
decorating my apartment.
122
00:04:58,367 --> 00:04:59,643
He bought me sconces.
123
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,886
That is weird.
124
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:04,855
Okay, let me say something,
as your friend and
the biggest Mets fan ever,
125
00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:07,754
this is the most
important relationship
of your life.
126
00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:09,963
More important than
your future husband,
whoever he is.
127
00:05:09,964 --> 00:05:11,448
I had money on Thorn.
128
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:13,346
You did? With who?
Nobody.
129
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:16,936
Okay, that's not the point.
Look, the point is
that he's famous,
130
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:18,178
I would like to
be his friend,
131
00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:19,766
so please don't
screw this up.
132
00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:22,459
I know, but it is...
It's really hard, okay?
133
00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,978
We've had,
like, three meetings,
134
00:05:24,979 --> 00:05:27,256
and we've barely
gotten any work done.
135
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,397
Well, if you ask me...
We didn't.
136
00:05:29,398 --> 00:05:31,571
He can't expect you
to do all the work.
137
00:05:31,572 --> 00:05:33,332
You know, I mean,
he has to meet you halfway.
138
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,299
If he's not into the book,
then just move on.
139
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,440
No, I can't do that.
This book is a huge
career changer for me.
140
00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:40,166
Hey, buddy.
Brendan's here.
141
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:43,756
Brendo.
Dude, you missed our trip
to the fabric store.
142
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,655
Sorry about that, guys.
143
00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:48,555
I lost my job.
144
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:51,867
What?
145
00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:53,386
Coast has been
turned over to a computer.
146
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,870
Dude, that sucks, man.
147
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,044
What happened?
148
00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:57,356
The man's
cutting costs again.
149
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,219
The whole
station's automated now.
150
00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:01,636
I've been
replaced by an iPod.
151
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,189
Oh, my God.
That's terrible.
152
00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:04,397
I know.
153
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,295
Brendo, I'm so sorry, man.
I gotta say,
154
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,884
I was really
starting to enjoy The Coast.
155
00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:10,438
The Coast FM.
156
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:12,198
I wish there was
some magic potion
157
00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:14,718
that could make all
your troubles go away.
158
00:06:14,719 --> 00:06:15,926
Look what we have here.
159
00:06:15,927 --> 00:06:17,273
Ooh!
160
00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:21,794
Hurry up with
the sewing machine, Bob.
161
00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:23,623
I've got it booked
from 4:00 to 5:00.
162
00:06:23,624 --> 00:06:25,487
You know,
it's kind of cute
to watch you guys try,
163
00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:27,040
but you don't
stand a chance here.
164
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:28,214
You're dealing
with the master.
165
00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:32,045
I'm kind of like
the Tiger Woods of sewing.
166
00:06:32,046 --> 00:06:35,359
You know what, buddy?
We're gonna let
you have that one.
167
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,326
Well, it does look
like it's
coming along nicely.
168
00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:39,398
Look at that seam.
Really?
169
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,365
I have no idea.
You could hold
up a washcloth.
170
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,642
I wouldn't know
the difference.
171
00:06:42,643 --> 00:06:43,954
Well, it's a good
thing you're a judge.
172
00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:45,404
You know, Elsa and I
are taking Savannah
173
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,544
to the Shedd
Aquarium tomorrow.
174
00:06:47,545 --> 00:06:49,580
Well, as long as
you're taking over my job
as man around the house,
175
00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:50,926
do you think
you could check out
the shower head
176
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,203
in the guest bathroom?
177
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,377
I think we need a new one.
178
00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:54,965
I took care of it yesterday.
179
00:06:54,966 --> 00:06:56,968
Bobby, I love you.
180
00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:04,181
It kills me to say this,
but I don't hate the pattern.
181
00:07:04,182 --> 00:07:05,458
What happened to your voice?
182
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,908
My allergies are acting up.
183
00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,980
I'm allergic
to cats and pigs.
184
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:12,085
You sound sexy.
Really?
185
00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:13,191
No.
186
00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:17,194
Oh!
187
00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:18,851
You guys are not
gonna believe this.
188
00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,266
Spike never
showed up for work.
189
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:21,992
What do you mean?
190
00:07:21,993 --> 00:07:24,512
I went to his
hotel to meet him,
and he blew me off.
191
00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:26,686
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
192
00:07:26,687 --> 00:07:30,172
to sit at a hotel bar for
three hours and not drink?
193
00:07:30,173 --> 00:07:32,105
I ate two pounds of nuts.
194
00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:33,590
That's terrible.
195
00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,971
Well, not the nut part.
That's always
been a fantasy of mine.
196
00:07:35,972 --> 00:07:37,594
He's a professional
athlete, okay?
197
00:07:37,595 --> 00:07:39,734
He leads
a completely
different life.
198
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:43,151
He can't be bothered
to be places
at certain times.
199
00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,842
Yeah, but how am I supposed
to write a book with him?
200
00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:47,707
First,
I can't get him to focus.
Now, I can't even find him.
201
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:50,986
He's busy.
Just write it for him.
Make up a bunch of stuff.
202
00:07:50,987 --> 00:07:55,025
You know,
"I like pandas, corn dogs.
New York never sleeps."
203
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:57,545
Blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah,
blah, done.
204
00:07:57,546 --> 00:07:58,925
Dude, she can't do that.
205
00:07:58,926 --> 00:08:00,824
Yeah, and I don't
even wanna do that.
206
00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:02,964
I mean,
I loved good sports books
when I was a kid.
207
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:05,242
You know, they inspired me.
208
00:08:05,243 --> 00:08:07,071
I wanna inspire other kids.
209
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:09,557
I know. Me, too, man.
I loved I Am Third.
210
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,213
Sacred Hoops.
Seabiscuit.
211
00:08:11,214 --> 00:08:15,286
Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
212
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,496
Rudy!
213
00:08:18,843 --> 00:08:19,877
We're done?
214
00:08:19,878 --> 00:08:21,292
Seriously, guys,
I need you to help me
215
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,122
figure out a way
to get through to this guy.
216
00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:25,262
Okay, you have to
make him understand
217
00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:27,057
that he's got
a great story to tell.
218
00:08:27,058 --> 00:08:28,817
No, I've tried that.
219
00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:31,786
Well, he's a baseball player.
Maybe he just needs
a little coaching.
220
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:34,271
You know,
let him know who's boss.
221
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:36,100
Get in his face.
He's very big.
222
00:08:36,101 --> 00:08:39,069
Tell him you need 110%.
Coaches say that kind
of stuff all the time.
223
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,830
Yeah,
it's the bottom of the ninth.
Bases loaded. Fourth and one.
224
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:44,764
This is our house.
Remember the Alamo.
225
00:08:44,765 --> 00:08:46,835
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
226
00:08:46,836 --> 00:08:49,804
You can always tell him
what my old softball coach
used to say to me,
227
00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:52,185
"You're awkward. You're slow,
and I'm worried
you might get hurt."
228
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,878
Brendo!
Brendo!
229
00:08:54,879 --> 00:08:55,982
Hey!
230
00:08:55,983 --> 00:08:57,363
Hey, Bren,
where you been?
231
00:08:57,364 --> 00:08:59,952
In my room,
working the phones
trying to find another job.
232
00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:01,470
It's so depressing.
233
00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:02,920
All the other rock
stations are gone,
234
00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:04,715
unless I wanna
move to El Paso.
235
00:09:04,716 --> 00:09:05,889
Not El Paso.
236
00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,373
Brendo, come on,
you're a great DJ.
237
00:09:07,374 --> 00:09:09,513
There's gotta be another gig
out there for you.
238
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:12,551
Dude, Arizona can get
really hot.
239
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,863
Not even drunk.
240
00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:17,107
Dude, trust me,
there are no gigs.
241
00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,626
I mean, do you think
I would have
spent another day
242
00:09:18,627 --> 00:09:19,972
playing the soft
hits of the '70s
243
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,698
if there were
other jobs out there?
244
00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:24,321
And I need something, man.
I'm not exactly
flush with cash right now.
245
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:25,978
Well, you could
always sell off a chunk
246
00:09:25,979 --> 00:09:27,635
of your massive
record collection.
247
00:09:27,636 --> 00:09:30,707
To who?
All the used record
stores are gone, too.
248
00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:34,952
Record stores, radio stations,
DJs, all gone. Extinct.
249
00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:37,506
Just like
the pig-nosed bandicoot.
250
00:09:37,507 --> 00:09:40,199
Elsa has a minor in zoology.
251
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,201
You know,
you could just get a job,
like, bartending
252
00:09:42,202 --> 00:09:43,512
for some quick cash.
253
00:09:43,513 --> 00:09:45,549
Yeah, there's, like,
two million bars in Chicago.
254
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:48,587
You could have a job
by the end of the week,
for sure.
255
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,140
I haven't
bartended since college.
256
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:51,935
But you've been
doing a lot of research
257
00:09:51,936 --> 00:09:53,730
from the other
side of the bar.
258
00:09:53,731 --> 00:09:55,490
Ha-ha.
It would be cash in hand
really soon.
259
00:09:55,491 --> 00:09:57,734
Yeah, but even in college
it wasn't really bartending,
you know.
260
00:09:57,735 --> 00:09:59,356
I was just sort of
in my dorm room
261
00:09:59,357 --> 00:10:01,254
cracking Zimas
for trampy chicks.
262
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:04,188
Hey! I had a Zima
in your dorm room.
263
00:10:04,189 --> 00:10:05,328
And?
264
00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:09,401
And then I slept
with your roommate.
265
00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:19,997
Hey, P.J.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh. Hey, guys.
266
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:22,828
Jordan wanted to
play 18 at Medinah,
so we played 18 at Medinah.
267
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:25,175
Because when Michael
Jordan wants to play
18 at Medinah,
268
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:26,970
you play 18 at Medinah.
269
00:10:26,971 --> 00:10:29,041
Quick, guys, hide the shirts.
I don't want Spike
to see our lady work.
270
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,559
What's up, guys?
What are you doing?
271
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,839
Nothing.
Just a bunch of guys.
272
00:10:35,117 --> 00:10:36,945
It's a shirt? Cool.
273
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:38,498
Really?
274
00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:40,604
You might not know this,
but I got
my own clothing line.
275
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:45,471
I know. "What's Upton."
I love it.
I have your pants.
276
00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:47,231
That sounds weird.
277
00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:51,063
The guys
are in the middle of
a shirt-making competition.
278
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:53,375
You mean
like Project Runway?
I love that show.
279
00:10:53,376 --> 00:10:55,619
Didn't you just
hate Christian?
280
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,310
That's like my favorite show
on the whole planet.
I watch it all the time.
281
00:10:57,311 --> 00:10:58,864
Incredible.
Let me check out
your stuff.
282
00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,589
Hey, let's just get
a little bit of
work done first.
283
00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:02,453
Yeah,
this will only take a second.
What do you got?
284
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:03,903
Check this out, Spike!
This is mine.
285
00:11:03,904 --> 00:11:05,802
Hey, Spike, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?
286
00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,667
Yeah, let's go. Cool.
287
00:11:11,153 --> 00:11:13,673
Hey, Spike.
What's going on?
288
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:17,399
It's my putting.
That's what's costing me.
289
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,162
No. I mean,
do you want to do
this book?
290
00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:22,335
Oh, yeah.
291
00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:23,302
Then act like it,
all right?
292
00:11:23,303 --> 00:11:25,028
Act like it matters.
I do.
293
00:11:25,029 --> 00:11:27,478
No, you don't.
294
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,757
You seem to want
to do anything else
but write this book.
295
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:31,448
Oh, no.
That's not true.
296
00:11:31,449 --> 00:11:33,208
Cool. Fruit.
297
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:34,554
Jeez.
298
00:11:34,555 --> 00:11:36,729
Look, Spike.
299
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,075
Would you screw
around like this
300
00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:39,870
before a start
against Atlanta?
301
00:11:39,871 --> 00:11:41,216
No.
302
00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,321
'Cause what would
happen if you did?
303
00:11:42,322 --> 00:11:43,874
I'd get shelled.
304
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:45,945
All right.
Well, this is exactly
the same thing, okay?
305
00:11:45,946 --> 00:11:48,361
You wanna write a book,
you gotta give it 110%.
306
00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:49,604
Do you know why?
Why?
307
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,468
Because you are a role model.
308
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:53,781
And a good Spike Upton book
could move
309
00:11:53,782 --> 00:11:56,853
and inspire all these kids
who look up to you.
310
00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:58,337
Really?
Yeah.
311
00:11:58,338 --> 00:11:59,994
Okay,
what was your favorite book
when you grew up?
312
00:11:59,995 --> 00:12:03,480
Umm. It was a book
about how awesome
Ernie Banks was.
313
00:12:03,481 --> 00:12:05,033
Do you see what I mean?
314
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:06,172
Yes.
315
00:12:06,173 --> 00:12:08,036
Now, I want you
to settle down.
316
00:12:08,037 --> 00:12:11,350
I want you to get
into your rhythm
and lock this up!
317
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,110
Yes, ma'am.
Go get 'em.
318
00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:14,249
All right.
319
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,389
Ow!
320
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:17,840
Wow!
321
00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:24,052
Hey, you wanna
hear something funny?
322
00:12:24,053 --> 00:12:25,951
I am actually starting
to miss Gordon Lightfoot.
323
00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:27,124
No. That is so sad.
324
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,195
Not as sad as this.
325
00:12:29,196 --> 00:12:32,716
I got an interview.
Some swanky bar
over on Damen.
326
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:33,924
That's great.
327
00:12:33,925 --> 00:12:35,581
So, what do you think?
Tucked, untucked?
328
00:12:35,582 --> 00:12:37,997
Tucked.
Really? Damn.
329
00:12:37,998 --> 00:12:39,067
You look good.
330
00:12:39,068 --> 00:12:40,517
I feel like an idiot.
331
00:12:40,518 --> 00:12:42,622
How did your little
talk with Spike go?
332
00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:45,764
Oh, my God.
I think I finally
got through to him.
333
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,042
Yesterday we worked for,
like, three hours.
334
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:52,425
After that,
we went antiquing.
He bought me this brass urn.
335
00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:54,669
Yeah, I think some people
just need solid coaching.
336
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,153
Well, you got any
pointers for me?
337
00:12:56,154 --> 00:12:57,258
Lie about your resume.
338
00:12:57,259 --> 00:12:58,569
Way ahead of you there.
339
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:01,158
Two years,
head bartender at Flush.
340
00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:05,128
So, Flush?
Never heard of that place.
Sounds made up.
341
00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:08,027
Yeah, right? That's
probably why it closed.
342
00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:09,788
So, look, mate,
I've got to say,
343
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,755
I've got some concerns
with your resume.
344
00:13:11,756 --> 00:13:14,551
Well, I've been DJ-ing
for the past
eight years, you know,
345
00:13:14,552 --> 00:13:15,655
so I've been kind
of busy with that.
346
00:13:15,656 --> 00:13:17,105
Yeah, fantastic.
347
00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:18,451
Well, look, mate,
I've got to be
honest with you.
348
00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:20,039
I need someone with
a bit more experience.
349
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,179
This place gets
absolutely mad
every night of the week.
350
00:13:23,906 --> 00:13:26,287
Oh, my God.
Hi, Brendan.
351
00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:27,461
Hey.
352
00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,567
Wendy?
Yeah.
353
00:13:30,568 --> 00:13:31,845
My God.
354
00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:34,709
Whoa!
355
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:35,952
What is that?
356
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,160
Oh!
357
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:38,782
It's a baby.
358
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:40,026
A baby?
359
00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:42,199
Is it yours?
360
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:46,341
Mine?
Well, yeah.
Ours, actually.
361
00:13:46,342 --> 00:13:48,205
Dez plus me. So...
362
00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:49,551
Ha!
363
00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:50,621
This Dez?
364
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,244
I certainly hope so.
365
00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:53,832
Yeah, Dez and I
are married.
366
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,075
Yeah, seven glorious
months.
367
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:57,490
Oh...
368
00:13:57,491 --> 00:14:02,702
Wow! Wow.
That's a lot of
information to just...
369
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:06,189
Yeah.
370
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:09,640
Well, Dez,
this is Brendan.
371
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:12,298
Brendan. Brendan.
372
00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,782
Oh, Brendan.
373
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:16,959
What's up?
Nice. Yeah. Fantastic.
Nice to meet you.
374
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:20,168
What are you doing here?
375
00:14:20,169 --> 00:14:21,825
Well, shouldn't you
be at work?
376
00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:24,828
Oh, yeah.
They finally killed
the station.
377
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:27,520
Yeah, it was
Iron Maiden one minute
and Air Supply the next.
378
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:28,659
Bloody hell.
379
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,247
Brendan, I'm really sorry.
380
00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:32,180
Yeah, thanks.
381
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,769
Well, look, seeing as
though you're an old
friend of the family,
382
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,598
maybe we could start
you off as a bar-back.
383
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:38,635
Or you could just get
some experience
in a smaller pub,
384
00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:40,430
come back,
see me in a year.
385
00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:42,259
He's constantly expanding.
386
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:44,710
Yeah, opening up a new place
in Logan Square next week.
387
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:46,851
Expanding locally,
as well.
388
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:53,339
Yeah, you know,
I'm gonna think about that.
389
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:57,343
In the meantime,
I gotta go
right now, though.
390
00:14:57,344 --> 00:14:59,794
I got some stuff,
you know,
some sort of,
391
00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:01,692
some top-secret
stuff that I'm kind of,
392
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,282
you know,
putting together, so...
393
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:07,733
Good luck with that.
394
00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,355
Well, you, too.
395
00:15:09,356 --> 00:15:10,495
Yeah, okay. All right.
396
00:15:34,002 --> 00:15:37,832
The guy is British, okay?
British.
397
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:40,041
I mean,
how can I compete with that?
They're just cooler.
398
00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:42,699
So much cooler.
Oh! The accent.
399
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,425
It makes them so much
more attractive.
400
00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:45,978
Colin Firth.
Jude Law.
401
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,393
The new James Bond guy.
402
00:15:47,394 --> 00:15:49,533
Oh, my God.
Could you just die?
403
00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:52,709
I mean, a British accent
and a Zima. Done and done.
404
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,607
Did she see the signs?
405
00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:56,816
I mean, did Wendy
know that I was gonna
crash and burn this summer?
406
00:15:56,817 --> 00:16:00,199
Is that why she left me?
I mean,
it's just so embarrassing.
407
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,270
Nobody could have
seen this coming, Bren.
408
00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:04,307
Yeah, right?
409
00:16:04,308 --> 00:16:07,448
And,
I mean, on top of that,
she called me Brendan.
410
00:16:07,449 --> 00:16:09,105
That whore!
411
00:16:09,106 --> 00:16:11,141
No, it drives him crazy
when his girlfriends
use his full name.
412
00:16:11,142 --> 00:16:14,662
I don't really know
what button it pushes,
but it's a big one.
413
00:16:14,663 --> 00:16:18,390
Here.
Drink right from the pitcher.
You deserve it, girl.
414
00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:21,877
Thanks, but I gotta get ready
for this stupid contest.
415
00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:27,503
Oh! Hey, there's Jack.
Hang on, you guys.
416
00:16:29,057 --> 00:16:30,057
Don't.
417
00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:31,506
I was just looking.
418
00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:33,957
Jack. Hey,
what you doing here?
419
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,752
I'm looking for you.
Oh.
420
00:16:35,753 --> 00:16:38,617
I've got some good news
and some bad news, kiddo.
421
00:16:38,618 --> 00:16:40,550
The bad news,
your buddy Spike
422
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:42,207
is walking away from
the book project.
423
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:43,415
No.
424
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:44,795
Yeah, but the good
news is you're in a bar.
425
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,211
Which is the best
place to be
426
00:16:46,212 --> 00:16:48,834
when your hopes and dreams
are crushed like little bugs.
427
00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:50,698
No, wait. Okay, wait.
You're kidding me.
What happened?
428
00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:52,769
I don't know.
His agent said something
429
00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:56,255
about he had to get
down to Amish country
to look for quilts.
430
00:16:56,256 --> 00:16:59,327
God, I can't believe it.
I thought I finally
got through to him.
431
00:16:59,328 --> 00:17:01,398
Yeah, well, somebody did.
432
00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:03,573
Apparently, some idiot
told him that he was
gonna have to give
433
00:17:03,574 --> 00:17:06,266
110% to this book.
434
00:17:08,889 --> 00:17:13,272
God. You know, Jack,
I really wanted
this to work.
435
00:17:13,273 --> 00:17:16,275
I mean, I tried and
I tried and I tried.
436
00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:18,484
Yeah, I know, P.J.,
but the truth is, you know,
437
00:17:18,485 --> 00:17:20,969
you're not the first writer
to strike out
with Spike Upton.
438
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,454
No pun intended.
439
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:23,627
I wasn't?
No.
440
00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,008
They've gone to
a couple of people
441
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:28,115
with a little more
experience first.
442
00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:30,463
Thirty-four people,
to be exact.
443
00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:32,326
Okay.
444
00:17:32,327 --> 00:17:33,913
Anyway,
you hang in there, kiddo.
445
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:36,917
Don't you let
the bastard grind you down.
446
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,344
Nice.
447
00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:51,586
Oh!
448
00:17:51,587 --> 00:17:53,623
Wow.
Yeah.
449
00:17:53,624 --> 00:17:56,178
So, Mike,
I'm actually impressed.
450
00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:58,524
Tell us about your shirt.
451
00:17:58,525 --> 00:18:00,837
Well, it's from
my Night and Day
collection.
452
00:18:00,838 --> 00:18:04,254
Perfect for work
but also
perfect for the club.
453
00:18:04,255 --> 00:18:06,739
Could you turn around, please?
454
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,327
Bang!
Oh, God.
455
00:18:08,328 --> 00:18:09,846
Bang?
456
00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:11,641
'Cause when a guy's dancing,
his back gets hot.
457
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:13,470
Right.
Okay.
458
00:18:13,471 --> 00:18:14,989
Kenny, what about you?
459
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,991
Well,
as you know,
I'm Italian.
460
00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:18,613
Uh. Half.
461
00:18:18,614 --> 00:18:21,306
Anyway,
I've always been inspired
by the neighborhood cafe
462
00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:24,067
where you know everybody,
where Mama brings you
a nice pasta fagioli,
463
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,896
maybe a good chicken parm,
maybe a nice pie.
464
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,553
You're wearing a tablecloth.
465
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:29,037
I'm wearing a tablecloth.
466
00:18:29,038 --> 00:18:32,283
Kenny,
what happened to the shirt
you were working on?
467
00:18:37,288 --> 00:18:39,634
Still wouldn't
have gone tablecloth.
468
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,602
Brendo,
tell us about your shirt.
469
00:18:41,603 --> 00:18:44,088
She married a dude
who owns a bar. I...
470
00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:48,195
Let's move on.
That's interesting.
471
00:18:48,196 --> 00:18:49,851
Yeah, yeah.
472
00:18:49,852 --> 00:18:52,854
That is a very
nice shirt, Bobby.
473
00:18:52,855 --> 00:18:54,235
Who made
your shirt, Bob?
474
00:18:54,236 --> 00:18:55,341
Me.
475
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,966
Elsa.
476
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:02,347
Okay, guys.
Thank you very much.
477
00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:04,245
We'll call you
when we're ready.
478
00:19:09,596 --> 00:19:11,390
God, it's just so sad.
479
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:14,255
It's a fashion disaster.
I'm permanently scarred.
480
00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:15,532
I didn't think
they could do it,
481
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:16,913
but I didn't think
it would be that bad.
482
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:20,019
I mean, they were tasteless.
They were poorly made.
483
00:19:20,020 --> 00:19:23,126
And I didn't like the shirts, either.
484
00:19:23,127 --> 00:19:24,334
So, what should we do?
485
00:19:24,335 --> 00:19:28,062
Well, one of them's
gotta win, right?
486
00:19:28,063 --> 00:19:32,240
Or maybe one of them
doesn't have to lose
as much as the other ones.
487
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,380
I know what to do.
488
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:38,624
Guys! Come on back.
489
00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:45,874
We have picked a winner.
490
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,049
Bobby, you cheated.
491
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,224
Kenny, it's a tablecloth.
Mike...
492
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,985
Bang.
Oh, no, don't.
493
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:58,886
Brendo, you are the winner
of Project Crowley's.
Congratulations.
494
00:19:58,887 --> 00:20:00,474
What?
Come on.
495
00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:03,339
We found your
shirt was unique,
avant-garde
496
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:06,100
and expresses
a lot about you and
your personal pain.
497
00:20:06,101 --> 00:20:10,898
Ha! Yes, I knew it.
Took me 10 minutes
to do this thing. Whoo!
498
00:20:10,899 --> 00:20:12,658
God, I can't believe
I drink for free.
499
00:20:12,659 --> 00:20:15,524
What should I get?
What should I get?
500
00:20:19,321 --> 00:20:20,425
Sympathy vote, huh?
501
00:20:20,426 --> 00:20:22,600
Oh. Come on.
Look how happy he is.
502
00:20:23,912 --> 00:20:24,912
You're gonna
keep wearing that?
503
00:20:24,913 --> 00:20:27,605
No, I'm gonna put this on.
504
00:20:29,987 --> 00:20:31,747
They're not even drunk.